Thursday, February 14

'Who Am I' by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I was given a book called 'Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy' by Eric Metaxas which I'm devouring at the moment. This poem by Dietrich Bonhoeffer sums up life's most important question.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote "Who Am I" just one month before he was executed in April 1945. This in an English translation of the famous text:

Who am I? They often tell me 
I would step from my cell's confinement 
calmly, cheerfully, firmly, 
like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me
I would talk to my warden 
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me
I would bear the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of me
or am I only what I know of myself,
restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voice of the birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, 
trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation, 
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, Though knowest, O God, I am thine!